


past and future

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Coda, Gen, Introspection, Missing Scene, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke can feel when it happens. (SPOILERS FOR THE FORCE AWAKENS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	past and future

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have Star Wars on the brain. Here is just a small vignette I felt compelled to write.

Luke can feel when it happens.

It feels like a crushing weight bearing down on him and he staggers, is forced to reach out to steady himself on a boulder by the cliff’s edge. He closes his eyes and makes himself breathe, makes himself calm.

_Oh, Han,_ he thinks, filled with regret for the past, for what was lost.

He thinks of his sister and for a moment he almost tries to send out his support through the Force, to send comfort in the hope that she will feel it, but he stops himself. What right does he have to offer Leia anything when it is his failure that has cost her first her son, and now Han?

Luke could have gone to them. The vision, what he’d seen, he knew it would only end badly. He could have tried.

But he had been too afraid. Too afraid of making things worse. Too afraid of having to helplessly watch.

_You are a fool, Luke,_ Obi-Wan had whispered but Luke had ignored him. Luke had run off after visions before and been chastised for it, so wasn’t this better? To let things play out as they were meant to? To not interfere where he did not belong?

_You know better now._

But some things can’t be changed. Luke knows this better than anyone. Han is gone, and in his heart Luke knows nothing he could have done would have changed that.

No one argues with him.

_Your sister,_ Anakin says. _Your sister needs you._

Luke ignores him, too. He will go to Leia, he will. When he has found some way to alleviate the guilt, when he is confident he can be there for her without falling apart himself, then he will go to her.

Leia is strong, perhaps the strongest of them all, and she always finds a way to go on. She will wait, and she will understand.

Luke meditates inside the temple, sitting on the cold floor. He allows himself to acknowledge each of his thoughts and emotions before letting them go. He thinks of Han, his sure smile, his bemused acceptance of what he’d always seen as Luke’s craziness. He remembers the way Han and Leia had looked at each other, and remembers the joy he had felt to stand beside them as they pledged themselves to each other.

He thinks of the bad times, too. The sorrow, the loss, the fighting, the way they had all drifted apart to try to cope in their own ways. He thinks of how they all seem doomed to repeat the mistakes of their forebears, and the universe suffers because of it.

All this and more passes through his mind. He focuses on each image and feeling and then lets it slide from his consciousness, and sits in peace.

He cannot change what has been done.

When the girl arrives, Luke is actually, genuinely surprised. He thinks, _how could I not have seen this?_ But there she is, standing before him, his father’s lightsaber in her hand. Her eyes are full of hope and earnestness and it feels almost like looking into a mirror, seeing the echo of himself from so many years ago. When the universe had been a bright place, an adventure waiting to be had, and Luke had been filled with dreams.

He thinks that this can end so, so badly. He thinks that now she will certainly never be safe. He thinks that here is another life for him to destroy, if he hasn’t done so already. He thinks that here is another person made to pay for the mistakes of her father.

_(You are a fool, Luke.)_

But he also thinks, _maybe this is how it all gets made right again._

Luke says, “Will you come inside?”

And she follows him.

**_End_ **


End file.
